Colors Matter: A Personal Account
When I became a mother, my dream was to be a stay-at-home mom. While I didn’t fully accomplish that, I was happy with the compromise of working part-time. I took my daughter to day care two days a week (Tuesday and Thursday) and had the other five days to fully enjoy being a mom.
When my daughter was a baby, we had a consistent schedule with her nap times and outings. I participated in several courses with her, such as sign language and Music with Mar, that were offered on the same day at the same time every week. We also loved going to the library for their reading sessions. Everything was great, and we had a happy little routine.
Then, when my daughter became a toddler, a whole new world opened up for us. She was able to do more things, go to more places, and interact more with others. I had several friends who didn’t live really close that we were now able to get together with and have fun. I was so excited. Unfortunately, my daughter did not share my excitement and became difficult and harder to please. We would all be splashing in the water at the zoo, and she’d be sulking in a corner. It was very hard to understand. I started getting that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that mothers get when they know there is something wrong with their child.
So, I took her to the pediatrician to see what was wrong with her. I explained her behavior and responses and braced for the worst. The pediatrician listened, asked a few questions, asked my daughter a few questions, looked her over and said, “Maybe it’s you?”
I was taken aback. He suggested that I make a schedule of exactly what I planned to do for the next two weeks. He told me to put it on the refrigerator and repeat it to my daughter every day. He suggested the schedule not be too full, and once I made it, to stick to it no matter who called and offered something better. I didn’t see how that would help because I was a FUN mom. I took her to do fun things with other children, and they all loved it! But I created the schedule and followed it for the next two weeks.
To my surprise, my daughter immediately thrived. She was happier and more engaged every day at every activity. I became bored, and I realized that it might be better for both of us if I let her go to preschool five days a week and took on more hours at work. She enjoyed the structure, and I enjoyed the challenge. This compromise met the needs of my “Gold” daughter and gave me the ability to do “Orange” planned activities with her, which brightened my “Blue”. Preschool allowed her to meet her “Gold”/”Green” needs, and advanced planning allowed her to know exactly what to plan for and expect. Everything got better when I realized we had very different personalities and needs, and I needed to change my parenting style to meet her in the middle.
Today, my daughter shares True Colors with others and uses the tool as a compass to understand how to communicate better with others.
~Sherri Sutton, True Colors Facillitator
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